Understanding the relationship
I have never known a life outside of church. From being a lay member’s daughter to a pastor’s daughter to an elder’s wife, I have not just attended but always served. While pursuing my master’s degree, I wanted to fully understand the intricacies, the dynamics behind the volunteer – organization relationship. What is the cost – reward pay off for those who receive no monetary gain? Why do people serve? Why do they stay? All of the research points to three primary motivations, but the greatest of these was something nearly intangible – altruism. Altruism is defined as “feelings and behavior that show a desire to help other people and a lack of selfishness.”
Becoming Weary
Recently, I realized this year will be seven years that my husband and I have tried to love and serve a group of teenagers at our church, with no paycheck and little to no acknowledgement. I have had so many vulnerable moments when I longed for adult friends, or for more appreciation or acknowledgement. This led to the ugly trap of self pity and even thoughts of just walking away. I’m getting older, less relevant, and wonder if this is worth it, if what we do really matters. And in that dark moment Jesus so sweetly reminded me that He sees, and the greatest rewards come from Him. With another school year starting, I made a decision. Last fall I chose to surrender, and we opened our home and began spending more time with some of the greatest teenagers I’ve ever known. My goal was to trust Jesus and love them unconditionally.
The Key to Our Calling
I thought back to my research and this concept of altruism. It’s feeling that you are giving to something great. Altruism is something that happens in the heart. I’ve watched thousands of people walk through the doors of nonprofits and seek to serve, but it’s the area that unlocks their heart that is the key to their volunteer calling. For some it’s loving teenagers for others it’s loving cleaning or event planning. Every Sunday night, teenagers walk through my door, set aside their cell phones, and sit together wanting to find purpose and know not just their creator but why they were created. We share a loaf of bread. It’s not fancy or entertaining, but unlocks a part of my heart and provides the most intangible reward I never dreamed I always wanted. I don’t know if twenty years from now these kids will remember how special this small group was, but I will always know it was a time when the weariness of serving left my heart, and the fullness of serving became real.
Experience it
The statistics on volunteerism are clear. There is much to be gained, but fewer people are stepping up to the plate. Whether it’s your local church or a homeless shelter…Find something greater than yourself, and allow yourself to experience the true heart of altruism. At the end of our lives, it’s what we did for others not ourselves that will be what brings us the greatest joy. I love this quote by Jim Elliott that says it best…
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” -Jim Elliott
bridgebuilder320.wordpress.com 